The Right Way to Celebrate Christmas in America
Understanding How People in America Celebrate Christmas
If you’re a student, a recent immigrant to the USA, or simply visiting over the holidays, welcome! As you may know, Christmas is the most popular holiday celebrated in America.
Below you will find a quick guide to understanding how to celebrate Christmas in America. We cover many things including the culture and practices surrounding our unique holiday traditions.
Christmas was originally a religious holiday celebrating the birth of Christ Jesus (The Nativity). However, it has become a largely secularized tradition that anyone can feel free to participate in and celebrate.
Read below to discover different ways to celebrate Christmas in America.
20 Ways to Celebrate Christmas in America
1. Attending church with family
Christmas is one of two times a year that many people go to a church service with friends or family, even if they don’t normally go the rest of the year. Most churches hold services on Christmas Eve, but some also have them on the morning of Christmas Day. It depends on the church and religious practices of those you meet.
These services are usually geared for both non-regular church goers as well as regular worshipers. Most churches expect visitors, so you don’t need to be worried about doing everything right and understanding how to behave properly. You are a guest and very welcome.
Feel free to ask people there about the church program, including anything you did not understand, and how everything works. Since you are a visitor, you’re not expected to give money to the church. Some churches do a special offering for the poor. Feel free to give to that special offering if you want, but you don’t need to feel obligated.
There is usually a lot of singing in the Christmas services, but you don’t have to sing if you don’t feel comfortable. Not everyone sings out loud, although generally more people will sing in church than at a party or the mall. Even if you don’t want to sing, try to enjoy the beautiful music as many churches have special choirs or instruments for the occasion.
If you find yourself alone on Christmas, attending a church is a beautiful way to better understand the season and make some new friends and acquaintances. People who regularly attend church are usually good people to meet if you’re new to America. They are often more helpful than people you might meet at a club or at a party.
However, not everyone understands what it’s like to be alone on Christmas. They may assume you are already busy or have someplace to go. As a result, they may not invite you to their home.
Christmas tends to be a very intimate and important holiday. Many Americans feel somehow disconnected or sad if their family is not close by or do not get together. But, every family is different. Some choose to celebrate with only their immediate family while others gather with their entire extended family.
2. Get together with family and friends
As mentioned above, Christmas time is seen as the most intimate of holidays. Even more than a birthday party. Therefore, sometimes families are uncomfortable inviting strangers to their Christmas celebration. They often assume everyone already has plans or someplace to go.
This should not be seen as a snub or offense but as a bad assumption. Even Americans can be left out of their family and friends’ celebrations.
If you really desire to join a Christmas celebration, you may need to be bold and ask to be invited. One easy way to bring up the subject (especially if you are in America by yourself) is to ask other students, coworkers, and friends what they are doing for Christmas.
They will tell you their plans and often follow-up by asking you what you have planned for Christmas. If you say that you have no plans because you are alone and your family is back in your home country, oftentimes someone will invite you. That might be to a meal or to get together, either before or after Christmas.
However, sometimes they are not the one who has permission to invite others to a family gathering. Other times, they themselves are not looking forward to getting together with their family because they consider these family times to be stressful.
If you will be alone at Christmas, we suggest you ask about a good church in the area that has special events. To get to know people, try attending the church before Christmas to meet some new people, consider volunteering (see below), or try reading the Gospel stories to understand Christmas better.
You might be surprised to find out that you are not the first one to be far from loved ones at Christmas, alone or feeling like a stranger. You might also seek out someone else who has nowhere to go and suggest a movie together or to go view Christmas lights.
During this time, you can call home and let your family know how much you realize you miss them and love them. Another idea would be to read the story of the origin of the candy cane, then go buy some, and hand them out asking people if they know the story.
Everyone likes receiving a gift, even something as simple as a candy cane. This will allow you to practice your English, meet new friends, and learn about how others celebrate the holiday.
Be aware that not every family celebrates Christmas in America. Depending on the family you visit, you might learn about Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, or even hear objections to the commercialization of Christmas!
3. Holiday Greetings
There is currently a controversy in the United States over proper holiday/Christmas greetings. This is especially true if you work in retail, at a business, or are in corporate communications.
The issue is that a small number of people who are largely non-religious have very publicly objected to the use of “Merry Christmas!” as a greeting or well-wishing. They prefer the greeting, “Happy Holidays” since it does not reflect a preference for any one religion. (FYI… No one says “Season’s Greetings,” although you might see it in print or on a Christmas card.)
Since Christmas is a holiday based on the historical story of Jesus’s birth, miraculous signs, angels, and wise men, it’s interesting that this is an issue. However, if you wish to be politically correct (or cautious), you may say “Happy Holidays!”
However, understand that some people may be offended by the largely secular attempt to leave “Christ out of Christmas,” and may wish you a Merry Christmas in return. Usually, responding in the same fashion as you are greeted is the best. The numbers who might be offended by either greeting is rather small.
A common misconception that has arisen is the use of “Xmas” (as an abbreviation for Christmas). Some people think it’s an effort to remove “Christ from Christmas”, while others simply use it to shorten the term.
However, in Greek the “X” symbol stands for Christ and was often written as “Xρ” or “Xt”; as was “Xian” or “Xtian” for Christian. We recommend you simply avoid use of “Xmas” as there is no reason to ever use it.
The whole debate sounds like an unnecessary argument to us. You can read more about this issue here.
4. Nativity scenes
Scenes that reenact the birth of Jesus in a manger (or feeding trough) along with Mary, Joseph, and the wise men (along with assorted animals) are called nativity scenes. This is one way people recall and remember the gospel story of the prophesied coming of Jesus to Bethlehem.
Also called a “crèche”, sometimes these scenes are also enacted in “living nativities” by people who dress up and act out the various roles for the public. Often these are found in houses and come in various shapes and sizes. The sets range from being simple toys for the children to play with to costing thousands of dollars.
You should always ask before touching the pieces because you don’t know how valuable they may be. However, these are not considered “icons” or “idols” and do not hold any kind of spiritual power. Even though they may be treasured by the owner of the house.
One should show respect with nativity scenes, especially in picking up the baby Jesus. Since the nativity is representative of something “holy,” even though it itself is not “holy.”
5. Singing Christmas Carols
One way people in America like to celebrate Christmas is by singing. There are many songs that were written just for Christmas. These are called Christmas carols.
Sometimes people sing Christmas carols when in groups, or at larger family gatherings.
Unlike karaoke in the East, Americans typically aren’t too fond of singing out loud in front of others. They are easily embarrassed by their own performance. This can quickly change if much alcohol is present.
If you attend an event and people are singing heartily, you know you’re probably at a close family gathering amidst people in close relationships. Or you could be at an event where people may have had too much alcohol to drink and the party should be close to wrapping up for the evening (ending).
Groups of people used to sing Christmas carols in public. Sometimes they would go door-to-door singing for people in their neighborhood. However, it’s becoming more and more rare (and special) when a family or friends go Christmas caroling for the enjoyment of others.
In the past, these carolers were often rewarded with hot chocolate or candy and well wishes. If going door-to-door today, it’s now more common to take neighbors a small gift at Christmas such as baked goods, fudge, or other sweets, rather than to sing.
6. Going to the mall
Even if you’re not wanting to buy anything, many people enjoy going to the mall. They go to see the shops, the decorations, and to get a photo with Santa. Sadly, it seems as though shopping has become the holiday tradition that overshadows every other tradition each year in America.
Stores regularly announce greater expectations of holiday sales each year. But, often the reality is that Christmas sales did not meet their expectations.
The amount of time spent going to the mall (or stores) may also cause you to wonder if the spirit of Christmas is truly present in peoples’ hearts. Or are they simply trying to finish purchasing gifts to meet others’ expectations?
Malls are a busy place around Christmas time. Malls tend to get crazier and crazier the closer to Christmas you get. Trying to get a parking place can be a challenge. And you also must deal with rude people who would be better off staying home to consider the true meaning of Christmas.
Often extra jobs are available at Christmas time. This is called “seasonal work” because it’s temporary work to help stores when they are at their busiest time.
Understand that these workers are often not as well trained and may not have answers to your questions. They may just be simply trying to make some extra cash for a month or two.
If you are legally allowed to work in the USA, it might be a good time to look for employment opportunities as many places will be hiring. If you impress a boss with hard work, he/she may consider keeping you after things return to normal. Especially if other regular employees prove unreliable or quit after the holidays.
7. White Elephant/ Secret Santa exchange of gifts
Gifts are a common way to celebrate Christmas in America. Company Christmas parties, churches, and groups of friends will sometimes have a fun “gift exchange”. They usually call this a White Elephant or Secret Santa exchange.
Why is it called a white elephant gift? People think the phrase comes from a story of the King of Siam (now Thailand). He would give albino elephants to people who had displeased him. This would cause them harm because of the high upkeep costs.
These events consist of bringing one gift or present. Usually, this “white elephant” gift can vary. It could be something you already own, a funny gift, or any type of gift under a certain amount of money ($15.00, for example).
It is good to ask beforehand what type of gift the party expects to make sure you come prepared. Usually the host will announce any rules for gifts and at the party, the rules for the exchange itself.
Care should be taken to understand who is coming to the party and whether “crude” or humorous gifts are allowed to avoid embarrassment. These types of gifts are not directed at any one individual, and you should not take offense if you pick such a gift. The object is to make the group laugh, not to embarrass or humiliate anyone in attendance. Although some good-natured teasing may occur.
The object of a white elephant exchange is to be creative, unique, and have a good time. The focus isn’t primarily on the gifts themselves. Gifts cards are not recommended to bring to a gift exchange. They may show that you put no effort at all into your co-workers or friends, and that you are a dull person.
A “secret Santa” gift exchange present should be a thoughtful item based on the person you are buying the gift for. Sometimes you will need to ask a friend of theirs what they like to learn more about them before choosing a present.
One benefit to these events is that you just have to purchase one gift instead of having to purchase a gift for each friend or coworker. Buying gifts for everyone can quickly become overwhelming and expensive.
If you’re attending a Secret Santa or white elephant gift exchange as a family or couple, each person in attendance needs to bring a gift if they’d like to be part of the exchange. Be sure to ask the host for any other rules!
8. “Ugly Sweater” parties
This is another fun American tradition. Usually at an ugly sweater party, each person attempts to wear the most hideous-looking Christmas sweater they can find.
You can borrow one from an aunt or friend or purchase a sweater from a store. Second hand shops like Goodwill are great places to look because they are inexpensive and often have a good selection.
We’re not sure where all these sweaters come from each year, but there must be a market for hideous looking sweaters. Since there seem to be so many ugly Christmas-themed, crocheted sweaters out there.
Most of the time, people talk and play music at the events. Then, someone in attendance will determine who wins and award a prize for the ugliest sweater.
9. Leaving cookies and milk for Santa, writing Santa
Baking is a tradition long associated with Christmas. Whether you make fruit cake or cookies, fudge or Stollen, some small amount should always be left for Santa.
Usually, children will leave a dessert for Santa on Christmas Eve, near the tree or stockings. This is a last-minute bribe of Santa by all kids, but especially those who have not been “nice” all year long.
The parents will usually take some bites of the sweets after wrapping or putting together any presents that require assembly. This makes the kids believe that Santa enjoyed the desserts.
10. Christmas cards and newsletters
For the longest time, sending a greeting card at Christmas was a way to celebrate Christmas in America. It was seen as a way of saying, “I wish you were here.” And it let others know you were thinking of them.
Although many of the cards contain religious themes or a religious message, they are not inherently religious. You should feel free to give, or receive one. This, as well as the mailing of presents and packages, causes Christmas to be one of the busiest times of the year for postal mail.
However, this tradition is changing as many families are printing their own newsletters or sending cards from print shops. These newsletters update friends and family on news and accomplishments over the past year.
This tradition is also dying due to the high cost of postage and the increasing use of technology. An increasing number of people are sending electronic updates.
If you chose to mail a card or letter, the personal greeting you write is the most important part. This demonstrates your care and attention to this special recipient.
As families become busier at Christmas each year, this guilt over not having time to personally write or even address each envelope is another reason some people are beginning to abandon this tradition. But, using a third party service is becoming more acceptable.
11. Decorating your Christmas tree and home
One of the most popular ways to celebrate Christmas in America includes going to pick out a tree. There are several varieties of trees. Some families have a favorite type of tree like a pine, fir, etc. And they may prefer a certain price and size, both in height and diameter.
An increasing number of people use artificial trees made of PVC and other materials. These trees can last for 10 or more years, which makes them more cost effective. However, it takes away the experience of picking out a tree with your loved ones.
People usually decorate their trees using lights, ornaments, and other decorations that have some special meaning or follow an overall theme. Sometimes the tree will have a train circling the tree’s base. More involved displays include a small village with lights that reflect a miniature town with snow, trees, lake, etc.
Sometimes the trees are also decorated with candy (Such as candy canes – See another story of the Candy cane here) and popcorn on a string. There is usually a special decoration placed on the top of the tree like an angel or star.
12. Gift Giving
Giving gifts to one another is a special tradition at Christmas that is wonderful and precious. However, it has also become complicated due to the commercialization. Among some families and circles of friends, there are high levels of expectation and obligation.
Unfortunately, this has led to fights for the most popular toys that often sell out. And children are disappointed if they don’t get the gifts they want.
The traditional “rule” is that children should never be disappointed regardless of their selfishness and expectation. It would be wise for parents to talk to their children beforehand to maintain realistic expectations and to talk about gratitude. This may help them accept what they are given with graciousness and a thankful heart.
In America especially, Christmas costs families quite a lot of money. Every year, the expectations get greater and greater, which results in the gifts becoming increasingly expensive. Often these gifts are bought on credit leaving families indebted through part of the next year. (We will be covering more about gift-giving, and expectations among friends, visitors and hosts, and others such as co-workers in another post.)
However, the gift giving tradition is the subject of many jokes each year and the theme of many Christmas shows and stories. In our opinion, the thought is more important than the cost of the gift.
13. Gathering for traditional Christmas dinner with the family (or friends)
Being invited to a family holiday dinner is a great honor. Families tend to value Christmas and Thanksgiving as time for reflection, eating, watching football and being together. Families often travel to be together during these times, even if it means spending a lot of money on plane tickets or a lot of time in the car.
Food is generally prepared by hand, rather than purchased from a restaurant or deli. Often, different members of the family will each bring one part of the meal, such as the bread, or dessert or drinks. If you intend to bring something, ask ahead how many people may be in attendance.
Often, as a guest, you will not be allowed to bring anything. Instead, you can just enjoy the hospitality of the family itself. However, it’s polite to offer to bring something because each family tradition is different.
Some families may tell you to bring something so you don’t feel indebted to them and feel as if you must reciprocate sometime. It is their way of reaching out to you and trying to make you feel as if you are a part of the family.
People often make a special dinner for Christmas. There is usually a main meat like Turkey, Chicken or Ham along with many sides. Some of the sides include potatoes, corn, beans, bread, and Christmas cookies.
Even if you have dietary restrictions, there is usually something you can eat. But, you are welcome to tell the host family about your limitations. Hopefully, they will try to accommodate.
14. Christmas morning with family (or friends)
In America, you will often be invited to celebrate Christmas by coming over at lunch or for an early dinner. Christmas mornings can be very hectic with kids getting up extra early to open presents. Also, mom and dad probably went to bed very late and are not ready for guests. Families may also feel a little embarrassed by the amount of toys their kids receive.
When you come, don’t feel obligated to bring the family a present. However, if you want to show kindness and bring a gift, you can bring a simple gift for the family. You could also bring a small gift for the children.
Most of the time, these gifts will be received with gratitude. If the gift is too expensive, the family may feel guilty or under obligation to reciprocate, unless you know the family well.
If you are invited to a house during Christmas morning, ask about the gift exchanging process. Sometimes one child (or a parent) volunteers to play “Santa” and pass out presents. Sometimes presents are opened one at a time. Other times all gifts are opened at exactly the same time based on family tradition.
Some presents may wait for Grandparents to arrive later in the day. If you receive a present, it is usually expected that you will unwrap it while there. Be sure to thank those who gave it to you, similar to other members of the family.
15. Christmas vacation
Some families use their Christmas vacation to go on a vacation together. Sometimes this is done to escape the cold and snow, and for others to experience a “White Christmas” in the snow. Oftentimes, people will go somewhere warm like Disneyland or Florida. But others go skiing, sledding or some place exotic like Europe.
Families that go on vacation over the Christmas holiday will often skip many of the other traditions surrounding Christmas. They may not decorate (since they won’t be home to enjoy it), buy a tree or have a Christmas meal planned (since they will be out of town).
16. Drive or walk around and see Christmas lights and decorations on the houses
You may be invited to go see “lights” at Christmas time. This may involve either driving to different neighborhoods or walking certain streets. Some neighborhoods go all out with decorations while others are very sparse.
Christmas lights are seen as a way to bring cheer and make the season “feel” special. Sometimes elaborate decorations can be a way for families to compete/challenge one another in a friendly, good-humored way for status/bragging rights in the neighborhood.
This is a great way to celebrate Christmas in America because it is free. It also is a fun way to explore the area. You may find hidden things you never knew were there.
17. Watching or reading various holiday/Christmas classics
It’s very common for families to read or watch various Christmas classics sometime between Thanksgiving night and Christmas eve. These include the books, “The Grinch that Stole Christmas,” “The Christmas Carol,” “Twas the Night Before Christmas,” “The Polar Express,” “The Velveteen Rabbit,” and “Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.”
Some popular movies and TV shows include: “It’s Christmas Charlie Brown,” “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “Miracle on 34th Street,” “The Christmas Story (with Peter Billingsley),” the stop-motion classics (by Bass and Rankin) “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town,” “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” “Elf”, and “Frosty the Snowman.”
Of course there are many other older classics that are now icons such as, “The Bells of St. Mary’s,” “Meet Me in St. Louis,” “White Christmas,” and “It’s a Wonderful Life”. A few other popular movies that are trying to reach that status are “Home Alone”, “Home Alone 2,” and “The Polar Express.”
Many families will go to the movies together around Christmas. Hollywood usually opens blockbuster films during this time of year. As you plan your holiday schedule, keep movie watching and popcorn in mind. Others might consider attending with you if you invite them. Going to a theater is a low-risk invitation easy to accept.
18. Volunteering at a local soup kitchen or shelter
Christmas is a time of giving. Families and individuals enjoy finding ways to give back to others. Some people will volunteer time to serve the needy, the homeless, or poor around town. There are opportunities to serve even on Christmas Eve or Christmas day itself.
Many children in the United States can become greedy as they think about all the toys and money they want. Volunteering is seen as a way to help their children understand the needs of the less fortunate and help them become more compassionate, caring individuals.
19. Visiting others at the hospital
Another way to give back is to spend time with those who cannot be with their loved ones. There are many opportunities to visit and even read to others at the hospital over the holidays. You can call or visit ahead of time and ask about volunteering during the holidays so that no one needs to be alone.
Visiting those in need is a great way to not only encourage others but to meet other great people who are also volunteering! This could become something you decide to do regularly!
Make sure you yourself have health insurance that covers you in the USA. We have plans for both students (J1 visa or F1 visa) and immigrants or other visitors. We don’t want you to have an accident, get sick, or end up in the hospital yourself and needing someone to come visit you! You are smarter than that!
20. Returning presents the day after Christmas
We strongly suggest you avoid this holiday season tradition. As tempting as it may be, skip going to the store or mall the day after Christmas. It is very crowded, often full of people looking for deals, has long lines, and harried store employees.
Stores see this day as a last opportunity to get people to buy their Christmas inventory. Customers also want to go spend their gift cards, and so the stores offer deals as a way to get people to shop.
Don’t Forget the Travel Insurance!
If you’re a foreigner visiting family to celebrate Christmas in America, we’re so glad you’re here! We hope you enjoy your Christmas celebration.
Whatever you choose to do, please make sure you have a great medical insurance plan. Medical care in the U.S. is significantly more expensive than anywhere else in the world.
Don’t let an accident ruin your Christmas celebration, especially if this is your first one. A single day in the hospital can cost thousands of dollars, emptying your bank account. You can purchase health insurance for visitors to the USA here.
Enjoy celebrating Christmas in America with your loved ones!
